14 April 2010

Somali Pirates Engage U.S. Warship: Win Their 2nd Dumb Ass Award

Link to Article

Somali pirates must want to win the dumb asses of the year award. This, their third encounter with a U.S. Navy warship in less than two weeks, either Somali Pirates have a death wish or they are just stupid as spit. How the hell do you take a a skiff and go up against a heavily armed war vessel? Is this not the the most asinine display of bravado you have ever heard of? Why don't they just take a stick of dynamite and carefully place it up their rectums and light the fuse? After all, in the end, it will end with the same result. The U.S. Navy is just not going to let a group of ragtag wannabee high-seas pirates even near the ship. Being previously fooled a few times by Arab terrorists, the Navy is now primed and ready for almost anything.

Six pirates were captured after this latest battle off the Horn of Africa. According to a statement released by the U.S. Navy, the six pirates began shooting at the USS Ashland, an amphibious landing craft, just before dawn about 380 miles from Djibouti. Yea YOUR JA BOOTY is right. What a bunch of idiots! Twenty-one suspected (they actually mean caught red-handed with their heads up their asses) have now been caught since March 31st. U.S. warships are part of an International Anti-Piracy Flotilla that have stepped-up patrols to quell the piracy in the waters off Somalia and nearby areas.

First it was an attack on a Frigate, the USS Nicholas (which I posted after I finally stopped laughing my ass off and trying to keep from peeing my pants) just west of the Seychelles. If you recall, the Navy had a real blast, literally, blowing the skiff up after the pirate's capture. Then, this past Monday, the USS McFaul responded to a distress call from a merchant vessel and captured another ten pirates. The navy said it was now reviewing "multiple options" regarding the fate of these suspected pirates.

I have a better idea. Forget the review, just take the twenty-one captured pirates and set them afloat in the shark-infested waters on their skiff. Then, retreat about 1000 yards and proceed to make "itsy bitsy Somalian nibbles n' bits" to feed those hungry sharks.

These pirates obviously have super-sized balls (hear that Blago?), but, they must have chick peas for brains (hear that too Blago?). As funny as these morons are to even take-on a  U.S. warship, the sad reality is that they have wreaked economic havoc on the shipping merchants operating off the African coast. Any resistance by these merchants result in captivity, torture or murder while they extract their ransom demands.

There are currently more than a dozen ships, with their crews, being held by pirates off the coast of Somalia. The latest ship to be captured is the 300,000 ton Samho Dream on April 4th. The ship was transporting crude oil from Iraq to the U.S. and its' value is believed to be about $160 Million. The crew of 24 are South Korean and Filipino. This ship is operated by Samho Shipping, a South Korean based concern but owned by a company from Singapore. The owner said "sensitive negotiations" have begun for it's release.

Ironically, a South Korean naval destroyer had been monitoring the merchant ship but have since sailed back to the Gulf of Aden after being warned by the pirates to stay away and not come any closer. What kind of naval force is that? Makes me wonder if their fleet consists of Kiddie Cruisers.

Somalia, a lawless nation run by brutal warlords, need to be shown a lesson. These acts of piracy have gone on for far too long. Quite frankly, the act of high seas piracy is technically an act of war. Thus, it should be dealt with appropriately by an International Military Coalition. I would start by placing naval vessels, from such a coalition, off the coast of Somalia and effectively stopping any traffic in or out. An embargo. It isn't as if these dumb asses have a navy merely a fleet of skiffs and power boats. Just choke down the Somali coast while the coalition rids Somalia of the warlords militarily. It is time to assert a different kind of diplomacy - let's just call it "Big Bertha Diplomacy."

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